Hi my sweet baby girl. It’s been two years since you left us. Sometimes I can hardly believe it’s been that long; other times it seems like forever since we’ve been together.
Your daddy and I had a talk about you this morning. I’m sad, missing my girl, and so is he. But he keeps reminding me to remember all the wonderful years we had together instead of all the sorrow at the end.
I still can’t help but feel that I let you down somehow. That I failed you. People can say anything they will, that you were 18, that it was your time, yet I know that I should have known earlier that something was wrong. After all, we had that mommy-Sadie ESP. Not to degrade the love that you and daddy shared but we had a special bond. I should have sensed that your kidneys were shutting down. I should have known.
Will you ever forgive me, my baby girl, my little angel?
I tried to do my best by you. I really did. But my best wasn’t good enough. My best couldn’t save you. I will never forgive myself for that.
I remember the day I picked you at the shelter. It was like I had blinders on to all the other dogs. I zeroed in on you, the barking little black puppy, and knew you were the one.
I remember how I had a hard time dealing with you at first because having a puppy while living in NYC and working full time was just plain wearing me out. You ended up teaching me so much about patience and selflessness.
I remember how after your last surgery you rebounded in a flash. Even with the drainage tubes still hanging out of the bandages you were scooting up the stairs, happy as ever.
I remember your yummy buffet and laying on the floor with you feeding you pupperonis while you chomped away, happy chew face on, eating until you had your fill.
Most of all, I remember what an amazing friend you were. We grew up together and you were with me through everything. Now I have the new puppy (I still can’t call her my dog even though she’s not a puppy anymore you will always be my dog) and the cats and I love them all. Having them here helps but nothing can fill the void of your loss. Nothing makes me stop wishing you were still here, experiencing our lives together.
I love you forever my sweet Sadie.